Webwords

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the spirit.

Brenda was a colleague and a friend. She was about three years younger than I was, someone who liked to play and talk about whatever came up. She’d had a kidney transplant, and as I learned later, the anti-rejection drugs she had to take to prevent her body from rejecting the new kidneys increased her susceptibility to cancer because they suppressed the body’s natural defences.

Her long, thick, beautiful red hair was lost during the chemo treatment, but her spirit was the same as always. She had no doubt that she would make it. Then she got an infection that she couldn’t fight in her weakened condition. A few months later, she died.

At the memorial service, the leaflet that was given out contained the above poem. I cut it out and put it on my refrigerator door.

All that was about a decade ago. Tonight, I got to thinking how the above applies in other situations in our lives. With the exception of mind-altering diseases such as Alzheimer’s , nothing — health problems or people problems — can take away who we are unless we let it.

“I can get along with just about anyone as long as they show respect for other people.”

When I was looking for a new place to live, I looked at shared accommodation as well as suites for rent. I said the above to someone who was looking for a roommate, and when I thought about it more, I realized that it covers a lot.

When we show respect for people we live with, we clean up after ourselves, we give them the space and privacy they need, and we are considerate in everything we do. When we show respect for people in other situations, we still do all of these things.

Good communication is part of respect. We all have shortcomings and habits that bother other people. The smaller ones can be left alone, while the bigger ones might need be talked about — politely, knowing that the person who irks us is probably irked by things we do.

Sometimes we have to tell other people negative things about themselves. How do you tell a person that you’ve had complaints about him, or that she’s causing problems for other people? With the facts, in private, with consideration of the person’s feelings, and with enough information that the person has the opportunity to change. That’s respect.

To truly respect other people, we have to listen, observe, and continually try to move beyond our own limited perspectives.

Part of respect is not making other people wrong in our minds just for being different from ourselves. Having different opinions or cultures or personalities from ours doesn’t mean that the other people are wrong. They’re just different. We can learn from other opinions and cultures even if we don’t agree with them, and other personality types have their strengths as well.

Respect for ourselves includes not letting anyone make us feel bad if they label us as wrong for being different from themselves. That is their problem, and I won’t let it be mine.

Showing respect isn’t about viewing people as on a different level. It’s about treating people as they should be treated. The people I admire the most are those who consistently show this respect. Showing respect elevates a person far more than receiving it does.

I can get along with just about anyone as long as they show respect for other people.

On November 8, the New York Times published the article For Thyroid Hormones, How Low Is Too Low? It addresses one of the main problems that people with hypothyroidism face. Most doctors rely on the results of a blood test with (among other shortcomings) inaccurate lab ranges, the TSH test. In fact, the medical establishment teaches doctors to use this number above any evidence presented in front of them, including more accurate blood tests. TSH level rather than assessment and thinking typically determines if a patient will be treated for hypothyroidism, and if so, how much medication that patient is allowed to have.

It’s bad enough that the usual lab reference range for TSH goes up to 5.5 mU/L when a high of 3 or 2 is recommended. Some doctors quoted in this article choose to ignore even that too-wide range and refuse to treat patients until their TSH level reaches 10. They are uninformed, apparently unthinking, and unable to help thyroid patients.

Letters to the editor are supposed to be a maximum of 150 words, which doesn’t allow for much background information. Since my letter wasn’t published in the newspaper, I’ll publish it here.

Dear Editor:

People with hypothyroidism are tired of being dismissed by doctors who want more “compelling evidence” than lab results and symptoms.

Taking thyroid hormones unnecessarily can cause health problems. But not taking them when they’re needed results in other health problems and risks.

Contrary to Dr. Martin Surks’ claim (”For Thyroid Hormones, How Low Is Too Low?”), plenty of evidence indicates that thyroid treatment is effective for people with hypothyroidism symptoms and a TSH under 10. As a thyroid site webmaster, I’ve seen hundreds of such people return to health after getting the necessary hormones. It’s rare for thyroid treatment under these conditions not to be effective.

If the placebo effect worked, we’d experience results from the anti-depressants and other drugs that doctors willingly prescribe for us without lab results.

What more evidence does he need?

Dr. David Cooper states in the article that patients who believe they have hypothyroidism “want to blame something.” No — we just want effective treatment.

I heard about it on a radio talk show this morning. The Freecycle Network™, at www.freecycle.org, is an organization that helps people get and give away items for free. At this site, you can find a group in your area and then join a Yahoo group for it. If you have something to give away, you post about it. If you want something that’s being given away, you contact the person offering it or follow the instructions. The person offering something can choose who to give it to or just state that it’ll be available for the taking at a specific place and time.

From the home page:

When you want to find a new home for something — whether it’s a chair, a fax machine, piano, or an old door — you simply send an e-mail offering it to members of your Freecycle group.

Or, maybe you’re looking to acquire something yourself. Simply respond to a member’s offer, and you just might get it. After that, it’s up to the giver to decide who receives the gift and to set up a pickup time for passing on the treasure.

One main rule: Everything posted must be free, legal, and appropriate for all ages.

I think the idea is brilliant.

“My group has a one o’clock reservation, but I’m a little early.”

“For Thornton/WHT?”

“Yes, that’s it.”

“Some people are already here. Come with me.”

I follow her to the back of the restaurant and she motions vaguely to the right. “Is that them?” I have to ask.

It was them. Sean and Paolina, that is. Seven of us in total arrived, each asking the same question.

We were the first Vancouver, Canada gathering of posters from WebHostingTalk. For the first time, we talked with each other without typing, and we experienced getting to know each other with voices and physical presences instead of just words in an online forum. We covered web hosting (of course), our backgrounds, some discussions from WHT, national and provincial politics, marketing, and more.

The food was good, the company was good, and the range of ages and backgrounds made it more interesting. The usual stereotypes based on age and profession didn’t apply. I was impressed with how knowledgeable and business savvy the younger people were, and I appreciated getting to know some people closer to my age as well. I got ideas for my business from people at both ends of the age spectrum and a broader perspective of the web hosting industry.

We’re already talking about doing it again.